By Cheri Walters
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Extra resources for Advice to the Minister of Music: Get a Giant Hat Rack
I swallowed real hard and went to my senior pastor with the problem. To his credit, he listened as impartially as a father possibly could, then gave me the go-ahead to talk with both of the offenders. I met with them separately and privately and explained the situation. Both took it pretty well. They said they hadn’t realized they were hurting anyone and agreed to stop. The other sopranos were molliﬁed and didn’t quit. In real life, which this was, problems you hoped were resolved have a way of cropping up again.
Or so I thought. The next morning, Charlene, a soprano whose husband Gene was one of my best tenors, accosted me in the deserted sanctu; ary. “I want you to know that Gene went home totally hhimilidﬂ ed last night. ” I was stunned, as though the wind had been knocked out of me. I tried to explain about wanting to teach them something to help them grow musically, but Charlene wasn’t having any of it. “We don’t care how to beat time,” she said. “We just watch your mouth anyway. ” 36 CREATING AN ATMOSPHERE OF ACCEPTANCE 37 Fighting back tears, I asked if I could say or do anything to change Gene’s mind.
Don’t be afraid to share the blame. Beginning with a positive statement is helpful. First, say something you sincerely like or appreciate about the person. )#Then address the problem. p6§itive statement letting the other person know you value him or her. ) 46 Get a Giant Hat Rack! Then allow the other person to present his side and really listen to him. ” This makes you listen more carefully, lets the other person know you’re listening, and allows him to clarify anything you’ve misunderstood.
Advice to the Minister of Music: Get a Giant Hat Rack by Cheri Walters